Girl Powah

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Good for her, not for me.
— Amy Poehler

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time. Why? Because it is the reminder every girl needs when scrolling through Instagram in her bedroom comparing her real life to everyone else’s highlight reel.

Have you been there? For me, it usually looks like this: It’s 9PM on a Saturday night and I’m already in pajamas. I lay down on my bed with a bag of salt and vinegar chips, open Instagram and start scrolling. I watch other people’s stories with a drink in their hand at a fun night out. I see a girl I know from college who landed the job of her dreams. Another just got engaged. I look at the profile of one of my high school friends with thousands of followers just by being her authentic self. And before I know it, I’ve been bitten by Comparisonitis!

Comparisonitis leads to all sorts of complications for us women. Because we are generally pretty emotional beings, we may fall prey to feeling down about ourselves when we see another girls’ beautiful selfie. Sometimes we feel jealous looking at her perfect home, thinking she has it all. Meanwhile, we feel insecure about our own relationship when her and her boyfriend always look like models, go on spontaneous dates, and seem to always be laughing.

What we don’t see is how many pictures she took until she found the best one to post. She may curate beautiful photos of her chic living room, but the pile of unfolded laundry and unmade bed is left out of her feed. And sure, we are let in on the good parts of her relationship, but we don’t hear about the messy disagreements between her and her beau.

Why do we do this? We constantly compare ourselves to what others choose for us to see. They conveniently leave out the imperfect parts of their life so we forget that she doesn’t look like that without a filter. Not everything on social media is what it seems. Everyone knows this, yet we don’t always think about it when we scroll.

In order to combat this disease, I started saying the Amy Poehler quote every time I started to feel jealousy, anger, or resentment on social media. By switching these emotions over to gratitude and happiness for a fellow woman, I feel that I have seriously changed my outlook on life!

See that fancy car she’s driving? Good for her, not for me.

Look at all of those beautiful vacation photos! Good for her, not for me.

Wow, her yard is perfectly manicured and well kept! Good for her, not for me.

Get the idea?

Next time you’re scrolling and you begin to get Comparisonitis, say this mantra in your head. Think of how better our relationships with other women will be if we stop judging them and feel happy for them instead. And think of the amazing example will we be setting for our children so they do the same! Just writing it down makes me smile.

I have faith that women do not need to be nasty, catty, and mean to each other. I believe we have the ability to rise, lift each other up, and learn from one another. Share the parts of your life that are not perfect, comment on that girl’s post to tell her she looks beautiful, and force yourself to be happy for your friend and celebrate her success. Because if we don’t stick up for other women, who will?