A Memoir: An Extrovert Living With An Introverted Boyfriend

Kristi and Addison by Redmond Digital Media-0001.jpg

“How was your day?”

“Good. How was yours?”

“Well, I woke up, did yoga, and then had breakfast—an omelet with mushrooms, cheese, and spinach. Then, I showered, got dressed, and started working on that project I was telling you about until my mom called…”

Can anyone relate?!

According to 16personalities.com: “People who are considered Extraverts (E) in our model are not as sensitive to outer stimuli and need to seek them out in order to gain a kind of functional equilibrium and to perform well. Introverts (I), on the other hand, are more sensitive and need to escape the same stimuli in order to be more functional. Unlike Extraverts, Introverts can quickly exhaust their mental energy reserves, and they will only tolerate such situations so long before they yearn for solitude and quiet.”

>>When it comes to me and Addison, this definition is entirely true.<<

The key difference is that we we both like quiet time… He just likes a lot MORE quiet time. I’ll take 1-3 hours and that’s sufficient, whereas he needs a minimum of 5-7 per day to be functioning at his highest level.

Secondly, going out is a challenge--I definitely tend to be a homebody, but I do enjoy going out every once in awhile. If it were up to Addison, we’d always stay in.

Living with an introvert as an extrovert is not something that comes up constantly… It’s really just a small detail that shows up around once per day, give or take.

But is it a major problem? A make-or-break difference in our personalities that we just can’t get past?

Not in the slightest!

I have to admit, when we first moved in together I remember him going upstairs to his office and being like, Um… bye?

Needless to say, it was a little bit of a difficult adjustment.

Now though, I understand he needs his alone time. I’ve done research on introverts and understand that it’s not ME, he just needs more solitude to function. With this maturity, I don’t have to question his love for me every time he leaves the room.

In turn, he compromises often to make sure I’m not always having to be the one sacrificing--he understands i like company and will often listen to my long stories and sit with me for hours just because he knows i like it.

In conclusion my friend, extroverts and introverts CAN be in a relationship and they CAN live together. But like with anything in your relationship, it’s important you talk about it, your boundaries are clear, and you have open communication.

So tell me, are you an introvert or an extrovert? Comment on this post on Instagram and let me know! I’d love to hear from you. And if you are with the opposite-personality partner, tag them, too. You’re not alone!

Kristi Monte