Words of affirmation.
Acts of service.
These, according to Gary Chapman, are the 5 ways we give and receive love. What does this mean? Well, let me tell you a story.
Recently I’ve felt like Addison and I haven’t been connecting. Maybe it was stress with his new job and us getting a Stevie (our new kitten who had a whole mess of health problems), but I just felt like there was something off about us. So what did I do? We had a conversation about it!
If you know us, that’s pretty typical. Addison and I are the King and Queen of Communication and we always talk it out when something arises in our relationship that we aren’t 100% happy with.
As we unpacked what we were feeling, we started to remember over two years ago when we had only been dating a few months, a friend told us to take this online quiz together. So we did. Through all of the in-depth questions we discovered our top love languages, the way we wish our partner would show love to us. Addison’s were acts of service, physical touch, and words of affirmation (in that order). Mine were words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of service. You see, we had the same love languages in different orders!
Through our conversation, we realized that we weren’t showing our love the way the other person wanted, we were giving it the way WE wanted. For example, I told him he was handsome very often, and he did a lot of acts of service like getting me tea every evening. Now don’t get me wrong, we both appreciated the different ways we were showing our love, but we weren’t feeling completely fulfilled because we were not receiving love the way we desired.
Now although wasn’t a great situation for us to be in, Addison and I laughed about how easy it would be to correct with just a little effort. We had the BEST example in front of us! All we had to do was look at the other person’s actions and see what they were doing for us to know what we should do for them. And it worked out beautifully!
Now, Addison says little things like, “Good morning beautiful!” and “Your makeup looks great today.” And now I am making more of an effort to DO things for him, like the laundry and hard boiling a few eggs in the morning before he goes to work. It’s those little things that really enhanced our relationship and brought is closer together and ultimately happier in the long run.
So, if you and your partner are experiencing a little bit of a disconnect and you’re not sure why, or even If your relationship is super healthy and you’d just like to make sure it follows the same trajectory, go ahead and take the free 5 Love Languages quiz. Knowing how you and your partner give and receive love will be an amazing way for you to know each other even better and love each other even more deeply.
Friend, I wish you all of the love in the world and I hope you take the quiz so you and your partner can learn to love each other well!